Thou hand hast crimson curse

Thy mind swallow thee universe

Thou opinion forsake thy life

Thee shall  swallow thy knife


farewell my love..

traces in my hair
dreadful reminder that you’re now over there
your lingering cologne still taint my sheets
your soft lips still stain my cheeks

your laughter echo forever within these walls
grinning to each and all
who are yet to come and yet to be

no one will ever be able to cover up your traces in my life
they come and they go
they drive then they slow down to see the way I’ll never love someone even the slightest amount as I loved you

but wherever you, perhaps in heaven
I bid you goodbye my sweet lullaby


A Silver Lining

A silver lining gives me hope

A silver lining gives me strength in the darkest nights and rainiest days

It gives me a singular feeling of courage
Who assures me there’s no need to worry

Its a definite promise that better days will soon arrive
And the worst has yet passed by

A silver lining is not seen
Only heard
Not felt
Only a word

That gives us hope



I’ve been thinking ’bout these places

My mind wondering through these difficult phases

Which only leads to more confusing mazes

In the end its just all covered up traces 

I have come to the fact that one day I’m going to have to face it

but not this day not this minute

Maybe one day when I’m grown up 

I’ll be mature and stop

Cause I have felt remorse 

I have felt this guilt 

which has eaten me alive 

and it’s only built 

but it in all honesty i’m just seeking a bit of redemption 

in which the concession has come to no caution 

That is eventually going to lead to an explosion 

of my mind , my body and my heart

that has been ripped apart by these people who has been nothing but negative

Some say it’s just the fictive of my imagination 

but the contemplation of the situation has been highly wrong

So the ignorance if my story has been highly strong 

Once again the comments has crossed the line

Each and every day goes by and all i can say is

“It’s fine.” 

but yet the moment I try to stand up for myself

It’s just like before

I’m the bottom shelf

We depend too much

So much depends upon the blue sky that scatters sunlight of the molecules throughout  the atmosphere

So much depends upon Christ  who’s been somes saviour since the beginning

So much depends upon a droplet of water that is supposedly supposed to satisfy once thirst

Yet nothing depends upon the thin layer of dust beneath those who no longer awaken

So much depends upon
The butcher
The baker
Even the waiter

Who we want nothing from except excellent service

So much depends upon the yellow fireball up in the sky who we call the sun

So much depends upon
The lover
The hater
Even the traitor

Yet no one acknowledges the friend

But no one depends upon time who will be the cause of our end


She hides away

Hurt , ignored , broken

Everything seems unspoken

No one will ask

They think its the past 

but they don’t know …

She sits alone

Waiting for them to phone

but they don’t know

what she’s going through

She’s been hurt too much

and without any luck

She sits alone

But no one knows 

What happens at home 

They don’t see the bruises

Every where on her body

She hides away

for another day


The sky is falling

but they don’t notice

The birds can’t fly 

but yet no one see’s

Its just so imaginative 

to the most known oblivion 

who we call ourselves

So yet the blue seem’s purple

and the water seems red

The cries seem soft

and the tears seem light

The house seem’s big

but inside it’s so small

The family seem’s happy

yet they are not

He stands in the corner

but all they see is shadow

He looks at her

She looks at someone else

The unknown fact we all seem to not know is

What we see

Is not at all how it’s suppose to be 



“Tic toc”  “Tic toc”

It’s that clock it drives me insane.


Not that I could disagree.

If I was not insane I would not be in this mental hospital.

Mental hospital? 

Yes here I am,

And have been for the past two years.

Its been two bloody years since the last time I felt grass between my toes.

Its been TWO bloody years since the last time I had something tasteful to eat.


I hate it.

Absolutely hate it.

Every single day 

Every single minute

Every single second in this place drives me insane.

This place?

Did I mention it drives me insane ?

I don’t know 

I don’t care 

What is happening to me!

This silence is deafening.

There is no one to talk to.

I am alone.


Yes I am , and I have been for the past two years.

No one talks to me.

They all think I am crazy.


I should be laughing.

We are all crazy

That’s why we are here isn’t it?

I am trapped and alone in a sell 

It drives me crazy.

I talk to myself because there is no one else to talk to 

I think I am normal 


No I am not  

Even my doctors say so 

They say I am going to be here for the rest of my life.


They should be careful with theirs 

‘Cause I am going to take theirs just like I did to all those other people.

I am not happy 

So they can’t be happy.


That I am not

Not now,

Or ever again

You wanna know something?

I like to scream.


Yes that I do from day to night

They try to calm me,

but I wont listen.

I then get punishment 


Yes that I get 

Its mortifying 

I don’t like it,

No one likes it. 

I don’t think Pete likes it 


Who’s Pete?

I don’t know?

I think he is my friend 

I don’t know if he is real 

He is probably not , just like Emily and Tyler


I wonder who that is

He is probably that nice guy I killed 


Oh no,

Did I kill him!

He was so nice.

Too bad he deserved that knife through his throat 

I don’t like guys they cheat on me 

Cheat on me?

Do that and I kill you 

Kill you?

I’d love to do that

I like killing people 

It’s like a hobby 


Guess what my hobby is!

It’s killing people

I like that 

I like to see them suffer

Just like I did 

I hope they get killed.

Oh don’t worry 

I will do that


I hope you have sweet dreams 

Sweet dreams?

I don’t have that

All I have is awful nightmares 


Yes that I have 

I then have nowhere to go because I am trapped.


Yes I am

Forever and Always . . .

(Sucky poem I wrote when I was 12 on this website called wattpad.)